IN DEFENSE OF NEW JERSEY, THE BEST “BAD” STATE IN THE COUNTRY
Let’s start with what you’ve heard: New Jersey is a coastal shitfield of garbage and hair gel that shields New York City from the rest of the country. Sound about right? You can admit it. It won’t hurt my feelings. I know that New Jersey is famous for grungy, over-industrialized highway corridors, loud people in expensive T-shirts, and a statewide prohibition on self-serve gas stations. The Garden State, as it’s optimistically called on postage stamps & license plates, is more colloquially referred to as “The Armpit of America,” and “JOISEY.” It’s a time-honored American tradition to take a steamy dump on New Jersey’s reputation/chest.