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FICTION

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OMG SARAH, DON’T YOU JUST LOVE FALL?!

Heyyy girl, what is UP? Feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! I’m sure your summer has been super-busy — I’ve been stalking you on Insta! You and Brian took like, all my bucket list trips this year! JELLY. Love, love, love it.

 
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A CROCK-POT DESTROYED MY MARRIAGE

One man’s low-and-slow descent into the heart of darkness.

 
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A HEARTBREAKING WORK OF SWAGGERING GENIUS

You threw a punch at a homeless guy today. The air was cold and you sort of missed and it didn’t hurt as much as you thought it was going to, but as your fist glanced off his collarbone you realized dude wasn’t even trying to protect himself.

 
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THE STUMBLR

The bartender looks like this part-time guy from Freeman’s that I used to party with, but it’s not him. What was that guy’s name? When the bartender finally glances towards …