Welcome to Throwback Thursday, an occasional reflection on all the stupid things I’ve done for money and fun. 

ITEM: I’m a New York Rangers fan.

ITEM: In 2012, the New York Rangers went to the NHL Playoffs, where they eventually met the New Jersey Devils.

ITEM: Hockey playoffs are known for many traditions and superstitions. One of the most visible is the practice of growing one’s beard out to support one’s team. Players and fans both participate, and so did I, cultivating a truly grotesque neck beard to herald my allegiance to the Blueshirts.

ITEM: In a moment of drunken confidence, I entered a bet the conditions of which dictated that if the Rangers lost to the Devils, I would get my magnificently foul underbeard hot-waxed off.

ITEM: The Rangers eventually lost.